Second Chances
by Parker Lindsey
Summary: Just a quick CopDoc drabble that popped into my head a few months ago. Can Tamsin convince Lauren to give her a second chance?


**_Second Chances_**

by Parker Lindsey

Lauren opened her front door and angrily slammed it shut again.

"Dammit, Lauren! I just paid for this manicure!" The voice on the other side of the door whined. "Let me in, Doctor. I have a boo boo."

Lauren's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Go away, Tamsin. I'm in no mood for you." She stalked back to her couch and sat down, tucking her left leg under her. She stared at the same spot on the floor that had occupied her attention for the past two hours of deep thought. Someone at some point had painted a strange, white swirling pattern into the dark oak floors, and she often got lost in the swirls and patterns. It was a cheap and comforting escape.

A fist bumping repeatedly into the door jolted her out of her hazy mental wanderings. The wine she had been obliquely enjoying turned to vinegar in her mouth, and she sat the bottle down on the mahogany coffee table next to her.

After a few moments of silence, Tamsin slowly opened the door and peeked in. Seeing the doctor a safe distance away on the couch, she edged just inside the door. "Look doc, you know I don't do apologies…"

Lauren snorted at that, giving Tamsin the reaction she was after. Or rather, any reaction at all, which had been her goal. The past three times she had come by the Doc's place, she had been greeted with stony silence at best, and outright contempt at worst.

"I need your help, Lauren." Tamsin took a halting step forward. "…please." Her voice actually broke on the word, and if she hadn't been so damned embarrassed by her weakness, she would have thought it a genius move, as Lauren finally made eye contact with her for the first time in over a week.

_God her eyes are amazing. They catch the light every time, and you can fucking _see _how smart she is just by looking into them_.

Lauren scanned the valkyrie for visible signs of injury. Finding none, she locked eyes with the blonde woman again.

"What is it, Tamsin? I'm really quite busy."

"It'll just take two seconds, Lauren."

Lauren sighed impatiently. "Okay, what is it?"

Tamsin moved forward with slightly more assurance, now, coming to sit across from Lauren on the couch. …still well out of arm's length.

"So…there's this Dark-Light Fae Mixer at the Jane tomorrow night. Comes along every five years. The Morrigan has _kind_ of made it mandatory that I be there, along with just about every other Dark Fae, and I'm sure The Ash is doing the same on his side, and I, well I was just wondering if you'd–"

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me, Tamsin? You're asking me out…after everything?!" Lauren's eyes widened dramatically, her eyebrows leaping into her hairline and her mouth dropping open at the same time.

"So…no, then?" Tamsin pouted, letting her lower lip protrude for full effect. She wasn't above puppy eyes or groveling at this point, but she wanted to reserve her dignity if she could get out of this with some simple pouting. Not that she thought for a second it would be that easy after what she had put the doctor through.

"I wouldn't go with you even if the Ash offered me my _freedom_ to go."

Tamsin audibly sucked in a breath and felt her heart drop into her stomach. _My god, I've had stabbings that hurt less._ She swallowed and blinked furiously at the tears in her eyes, determined to never let them fall. Certainly not in front of this woman. After she left, she'd have time to be fucking furious with herself for even getting the tiniest bit emotional. This was why she didn't want to get involved with anyone in the first place, after all! Too many fucking feelings, and too many ways to get hurt. It was like a maze full of razors and every move had the potential to cut you. Hell, _probability_, in her case.

Lauren looked at the other woman, _really_ looked at her for the first time since their last meeting. Tamsin looked like she hadn't slept in days and her eating habits were equally suspect, as her clothes seemed to sag on her more than they normally did. The doctor in her knew she should care, should make the valkyrie rest, but Lauren had had enough of taking care of other people, lately. It was time to start thinking of herself and _her_ feelings for a change. Feelings that Tamsin had stepped all over the week before.

It had been six achingly confusing, lonely nights since Tamsin had broken things off between them, but Lauren was finally starting to move past her hurt and bewilderment and move on. Or at least that is what she told herself.

And then Tamsin strolled right back into her life, into her damned living room, today, and she felt her stomach (and her world) flip upside down again.

Tamsin observed Lauren observing her and knew she had lost. There would be no breaking through the patented Lauren-ice this day.

When Tamsin realized that she wouldn't be able to hide her raw emotions much longer, she stood up and turned to leave.

"Tamsin, wait…" the tone was resigned, but perhaps somewhat apologetic. Or maybe that was just Tamsin's wishful thinking. Still. It was something.

She stopped but didn't turn around. "What, Lauren?" Her voice again broken, this time on Lauren's name. The same name that had been haunting her steps and her dreams this past week. The same name that would whisper past her lips when she caressed herself at night, remembering different hands than her own on her body.

Lauren took a halting step toward her. "I-I'm sorry. That was incredibly cold of me to say."

"I know I deserved it." She actually couldn't believe Lauren was apologizing to _her_ after everything. She'd been the one to break the doc's heart after all, not the other way around.

"Yes you did. You do. But still…" Lauren trailed off when the awareness of their proximity hit her. They were less than a foot apart now.

Tamsin reached out before Lauren could pull away and cautiously grabbed hold of the doctor's surprisingly soft hands. With her eyes and her voice and everything she had in her that let her know she was alive, she beseeched the doctor for mercy. "Won't you forgive me, Lauren? I know I'm a colossal fuckup, and that's on a good day, but I swear to Odin himself" she paused for a second, awed at her own audacity "–I _swear_ that I never meant to hurt you. I was just so…you scare me _so_ much."

Lauren felt her eyes fill and swallowed down a tired sob. She was so very tired. Tired of fighting and hurting, and most of all, she was tired of losing. She had lost Nadia, and Bo, and her work, and yet…here in front of her was something–someone–refusing to be lost.

Surrendering to her own need more than anything else, she stepped into Tamsin's hesitant arms. "You are such an asshole, Valkyrie."

Tamsin nosed into the hair at Lauren's neck and just breathed her in. She nodded her acknowledgement of the truth between them.

"I know I am. _God_, Lauren…I know. And I know I'll probably fuck this up again tomorrow–"

"Really think you'll last that long?" Lauren snorted, but took the sting out by softly kissing Tamsin's left eyebrow. Once. Twice.

Tamsin grinned. "This asshole is many things, but she's not stupid." She sobered and looked right into the eyes she could never get out of her head. "I'm going to do right by you, doc. One day at a time, that's all I'm asking you to give me. Let me prove to you that I deserve a second shot at this…at us."

Lauren just nodded silently and tightened her arms around the other woman, almost painfully so. But Tamsin didn't mind. She relished the ache in her ribs which finally replaced the one that had sat in her chest this past week. She'd come so close to losing it all, and it woke her up to how fragile the woman in her arms was. And how short her life would be. And how much the Ash and the succubus and every other damned person in her life had hurt her these past few years.

_If this is to be my last life, there is no other way I want to spend it than by figuring out a way to deserve her._

They didn't talk after that, but when Tamsin led Lauren to the couch and made a silly face at her, Lauren smiled that smile that only stretched across half her face, but completely lit up her eyes and crinkled her nose.

Seeing it directed at her, knowing it was _because_ of her, was like the sun rising over Valhalla after the last warrior had been collected from battle. It was the peace she knew she didn't deserve but ached for anyway. It was a promise of love, if she could _just_ hold on to it, that would eclipse the dark loneliness of her past.

Lauren's smile was how Tamsin knew she was finally home.


End file.
